Thursday, January 19, 2012

Wife, Mother and Artist.

I ready my pencils, paper and ink. I rifle through my many stacks of sketchbooks to find one that suits my current artistic mood. Tattoos? Anime? Life drawing? Or maybe work on my cute cupcake art today? Now that sounds like a plan. I sit down with surrounded by supplies to make the characters in my head come to life and I put a pencil to paper. The thoughts swirl around, what should I make? Will it come out as I see it in my head? My heart races as I start the swirl of lead on paper.

"Mommy?"
(pause)
"Mommy?"
Me: Yes babe?
Son: I'm wet.
Me: *my heart stops* On the couch even?
Son: Sorry mommy.
Me. *sigh* It's OK son, lets go clean you up.

My thoughts have left. I switch back to mommy mode and I help my son clean up. Part of me feels terrible that I didn't ask if he needed to go before I got my supplies together. The other part of me wishes I could fast forward through potty training or that he would take to it better. I feel defeated sometimes by the lack of time I have to be artistic but that comes with the territory. I have yet to find the balance in my life that will allow me to be a mother and an artist but I know someday I will. Someday things will fall into place, it always does. In the meantime, back to life, back to reality and the hear and now of not peeing on the couch. Oh god the couch..

1 comment:

  1. looking for "that dragon girl" from class of 2000 centennial high school. I am still in the gresham area (name is jason lee blue) trying to track you down... I had this WEIRD feeling you were still in gresham and on the same street I am on now, or at least were. im trying to find you because you used to draw all those dragons like me and were in my art class... see: jason.l.blue.1 on facebook, www.furaffinity.net/user/azureth, or, ashilnoirolth.deviantart.com I'm not 18 anymore like I was in highschool, im 35 and its a long sad story but im curious how YOU turned out.

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